Very Basic simplified layman's terms what BDSM stands for (BDSM 101 Basics for the misinformed)

Extremely simplified explanations in non technical terms that anyone can understand, ( especially the vanilla folks who are interested or curious) maybe it will help a novice with something they don't understand.. whatever, I am writing this for everyone cuz I can not believe the misconceptions...

BDSM is an umbrella for a great many kinks fetishes, Dynamics.. and it's not about sex,not all BDSM relationships lead to sex

It is not one big f*ckfest, it is nothing like that stupid 50 shades of rape movies, or magazines,I will put resource links throughout this post and at the end. in keeping with the KISS (Keep It Simple Stupid) guidelines, I am using, I am making use of Wiki..it isn't a definitive 100% reliable & accurate all the time, but it does provide links for resources 

The Definition of BDSM is clearly stated in that Picture above,
 Bondage is pretty straight forward, many Bondage folks go onto learn and practice Shibari & Kinbaku What is Shibari & Kinbaku & their differences, Bondage is not restricted to rope, silk strips are often used , chain, cuffs ( careful if using cop handcuffs they can really damage the wrist if used improperly) various restraints.

Discipline is more Self Discipline, mastering self control, self restraint, self conduct, mastering remaining calm in various situations positive or negative, controlling your own thoughts.. this takes years, it's a journey of self discovery and becoming the best person you can be, both Dom & sub do this, both are constantly learning, helping each other,the Dom may guide the sub in the right direction, may encourage the sub to not give up, and the sub gives their reassurances, and a good reason why the Dom is always striving to be the best they can be. Discipline is also learning to take direction, stick to schedules, Maintain rituals, completing tasks, Obedience - if your Dom calls you from work tells you what to wear, and you are to be at some restaurant or home or store, anywhere, at such & such time..doing so without question regardless of where you are and what you are doing ( this is an example) sounds simple enough, it is much harder than you think, you might be somewhere or doing something that will become awkward if you suddenly say you gotta go..thats just a small part of Discipline... it is NOT all about punishment and beating the h3ll out of a sub. yes it may contain elements of Sadomasochism, but not for all, just for who evers dynamics includes that.

Domination is pretty str8 forward I should think, it's being in control of the situation and the sub(s) their word is law, a Dom is short for a Dominant person ( male or female or somewhere gloriously in between) Dominant people have a Dominant personality,they are the natural leaders,the ones who people go to for advice or help or just want to be in their company,one of those people that are handed total control by their friends and family and end up directing the event without meaning to, and the Dom does it merely with their presence  one of those people who walk into a room and instantly grabs everyone's attention without saying a word, it is natural to them.
And submission is also pretty str8 forward, sub is short for submissive, which is the complete opposite of the Dom, they don't take control of anything, except for their own actions thought word and deed ( refer to Discipline).. they have responsibilities not control. a submissive is not a f*ck toy who has to obey your every desire, doesn't work like that... that is more in the realm of Master/slave situations..we will skip that for now and keep it simple. Also a Dominant never takes submission by force, if you force someone to submit.. you are raping and abusing them... submission is something the sub gives willingly.  for simplisticity, think of it as a Gift to the Dom to cherish and protect...the Sub can  take that back at anytime,( doing so may very well terminate the relationship) when it is given the significance of it is they are putting their lives as well as their Physical, Mental, Emotional & Spiritual health into the hands of someone else and trusting that person to protect them always, to keep them safe on every way,and trusting them guide them and help them grow in all things.. a Dom can't do jacksh!t to/with the submissive until the sub willingly gives the Dom their submission and control over them, after that the Dom can take control and stay within the realm of things that was mutually agreed on and consented to. The Dom can not just do as they please,unless that is your dynamics.

Sadism is the pleasure derived from inflicting pain on others...Dominants are usually Sadists to varying degrees, so are mildly sadistic, others can be extremely sadistic.

Sadomasochism Definition ,

Masochism is receiving pain from others and gaining pleasure from it. Submissives are usually Masochists to varying degrees, some are mildly Masochistic, others Can be extremely Masochistic.

the more you read and follow links to learn, the more you will understand our Dynamics when I begin talking about that ( and that will contain details of scenes, what jannie n I do and how and for who etc. what types of Doms are in our crew and what do they do etc.) As usual, leave some hate or love in the comment box, nice comments greatly appreciated as well, and any questions drop them there and I will answer, if I do not know I will find you someone that does
have fun exploring and experimenting xo
Lesli xoxo

As stated here are a few resource links where you can explore more in greater depth... I chose to keep it simple to be clearly understood.
BDSM Beginners Kit (1995) still valid
Things to try if you are new to BDSM
How to guide for beginners
BDSM Guide for new folks
Tips for Beginners ( lots of resource links)
** Please hit that follow button so I don't have to constantly send the links thru Messenger thanks**

A Blog post written expressly for you all to get to know me & what I am about

I am well known for long reads on my other blogs, guess its the same here.. sorry about the length, but I had a lot to say because there is a great deal of misconceptions about me and i want that cleared up, its not pissing me off, its hurting me.

What I do exactly on film ( or digital wtf evers now - I know jackshit about cameras)

I make 3 types of porn

#1 Home vids for personal use, these are for me & my partners & very few friends.... sometimes shown at a private Dungeon party as ambient background fluff

#2 Studio porn, not of the vanilla variety and not actual BDSM.. like 50 shades of grey it's not real non of it is what happens in the BDSM world.. its made to give vanilla folks a fantasy thats it (50 shades is all rape and abuse yanno)

#3 Educational Porn .. demonstration on how to do this or that, from how a BJ isn't just a dick in your mouth to how to deepthroat without puking or suffocating, how to fuck a guy or woman with your eyes while goin down on them etc to how to safely use impact and stingy toys/tools ...

to proper positions for those just learning how to kneel proper, what obedience submission is and it is the Dom directing this so he or she is explaining shit and teaching I am just a visual tool in that education also what BDSM is and that its got very little if anything to do with sex... if your dynamics include sex be happy, if not, be happy. etc these videos can be seen at BDSM conventions, fetish events,Sexpo's,.. a 3 day everything sex expo for vanillas mostly and kinksters they are instructional there is no one blowing a load or any orgasm its simply step by step instructional demonstration

This Educational porn is usually made at my Dom's house cuz the basement is a full on dungeon or at an acquaintances property or warehouse etc. one of my Doms is an educator gives talks and if I am oh so lucky a live demo with a crop cane or strap.. I hate the fucking paddles :(

Now the Rant....

There isnt a fucking snowballs chance in hell I will ever let a complete stranger see a vid I am in..

Also I make porn.. you seriously fucking think your dick is gonna impress me or even arouse me? seriously? and no I am not a fucking size queen, I actually dislike dicks that are 8 inches or more, I don't give a flying fuck how small it is either, it still can give and recieve pleasure so whats the fucking problem?

The only vids I can show are the private home vids.. so if I ever send you a short clip of one, its because I trust you and am comfortable with you and consider you a friend.... if you are Not my friend and I dont know you... you wont see any of them ever, so stop asking.( and yes they do exists because 1 or 2 guys have seen a clip or 2) and you can take that childish prove it, fucktarded comment, and ram it up your fucking ass.. I don't need to prove sweet fuck all you, or anyone about anything.. unless you are paying my bills, you dont have any fucking rights to anything about me or my life, nor do you have any fucking say at all in my life..

Believe what you fucking want, those who do know me, and that I consider a friend, know I am fucking str8 up legit so fuck you!

the Studio vids... just because I am in them does NOT mean I own them, I don't, the Studio and producers do, I can not upload even a 10 second sample and send it to anyone legally, there are other people in it, and I can lose my job... and I can get my ass sued off hugely.. I am not a millionaire I cant fight and win against a studio that has access to the best lawyers and can tie it up in the courts until I can no longer afford to defend myself... you jerking off for 30 minutes is NOT worth my time my job or my finances.. you want to see those videos get up off your ass go to the kink store and pay for the fucking DVDs like everyone else

the home vids are pleasurable to me, and are made with love because its my Doms, jannie and me. as for the studio vids... its a fucking job I get no pleasure, all I get is a bit of relief just enough to take the edge off for an hour if i am fucking lucky and I get a paycheck thats it

very rarely is it fuck uninterrupted making studio porn there is who ever is all there with me participating and sure as shit someone will lose their stiffness and need a fluffer .. or the asshole in charge of the lighting or sound got on frame by accident, or the director will stop you and tell you more of this or dont do that, or move this way so the camera can get it all or the bed/table/bench/ cheap ass st andrews will break or collapse while in use. its not a fuck fest.. its a job, .. you gotta memorize everything, try to sound convincing and then make the right noise at the right time and if you can't get the sound then they will make it very real for the 10 seconds of audio and sometimes that really fucking hurts you also have to be very aware of what is being done to you and when and how

you want to even remotely stand a chance of getting anywhere near me if you can not stimulate my mind, So get into a marathon conversation with me about energy from the universe, the energy within us and all living things.. the grande illusion we call life, lets discuss Schrodinger's cat and other beautiful theories, lets talk about Einstein's theories , or Darwin's , or the origins of man. too deep for you?

How about the Iliad? ( Homer's Epic Poem) .. or Dante's inferno in great detail and the meaning behind the stories, how about beliefs rituals customs law punishments of the 14th century thru to the 20th century how about Caligula ? or Vlad the Impaler (Dracula)

lets talk philosophy and discuss ideologies and when why and how they were created and their purpose etc

you look at me and think I am a dumb fucking blonde whore that makes movies easy fuck!!

other than the fact I make porn , play guitar for a career and I am into some very kinky shit and serious BDSM ...

what else do you know about me? who am I ? what happened to me in my past? what do I enjoy in life, what are my hopes dreams and desires ? do you even know what fucking country I live in? what kind of motorbike do I own? do I have any kids? what is my sexuality? what ethnicity am I? what are some of my hobbies? do I like to hunt? if so what do I use? if not why not? do I smoke? do I drink? do I do drugs? if so what? have I been to jail? have I been to prison? have I ever been with Royalty? am I friends with Royalty? if so which country? in what country am I an honorary citizen? what US city gave me a nice plaque with the "key to their city" mounted on it? in what country can I not walk down the street unescorted? why can't I? ...

no, you havent a fucking clue about me , all you see is female, porn, slut or whore and a easy fuck ...

I am so much more than a cum dumpster... I am a human being, I am extremely intelligent & very well educated, not from the north american bullshit colleges , actual knowledge, from multiple countries, I do have hopes and dreams I do have regrets, many of them ,I am far from perfect,

Why should I have to tone it down? keep a little more to myself? why should I have to hide myself?, not be open honest and upfront? act all shy? pretend I share your fucked up society's morals and values?, why can I not openly state I fucking love sex ?, why cant I talk about what I like?, why cant I be aggressive when it comes to sex or whatever?

... a guy can talk about all that shit and be very aggressive in bed... because in your fucked up heads he is a man and that makes it okay , women dont behave like that its wrong its unladylike it makes you look like a slut , its not okay... fuck off your misguided morals and so called values do NOT apply to me, I am not chained down by religious dogma, nor am I a slave to society..

sorry I m not a brainwashed sheeple I live my fucking life equal to any man or woman that is not open for debate, I am in control of my body no other human being will ever have any say in what I do with or to my body, that is also not up for debate..

I am not actually a slut or a whore by your very fucked up definitions ...

I am a woman who is aware that her body is meant to give and receive pleasure and I am not afraid to use it and enjoy it or admit it cuz I dont have those fucked up social restraints you do, I am sexually liberated, most of you are not.

I am NOT ashamed to be a woman, to enjoy my body, to be empowered, to be equal to men, I am every fucking thing you think women should NOT be & everything they are when they start fucking thinking for themselves...

I am fucking proud to be me and I won't let anyone shame me or silence me... you don't like me that is your fucking problem because I won't lose any sleep over it. you have any fucking problems with what I say or do... that is your fucking problem, I am NOT responsible for your reactions or your thoughts.

so why will I show my tits or ass in a photo? cuz I FUCKING CAN! and I do NOT feel shame, the human body is nothing to be ashamed of, regardless of size or shape or fucking gender...there is a reason why a woman's body is designed the way it is, there is a reason why she has tits on her chest and not on her belly like other animals... there is a reason why men's bodies are designed the way they are, there is a reason why men are generally taller bigger and stronger than women ... to attract each other.. its natures way of ensuring there will be generations of humans... why would I be ashamed of, or try to hide what nature gave me? thats just fucking stupid

.. my body is designed to be looked at, as is yours, everyones is.. I enjoy my body immensely, why would I keep it to myself?. why would I hide it? doesn't mean I wanna fuck you if I give you a pic, just means i felt like sharing. if I want to fuck you, male or female.. you will know cuz I will point blank tell you I want to fuck.. your call yes or no, If I havent told you I want to fuck you, then dont ask cuz you know the answer, I fuck.

Unlike the online billionaires with perfect lives and a fucking mansion..

I am actually real, I am not even a Millionaire, not even fucking close, I do NOT own mansion, in fact there is a good chance my humble little home is smaller than your fucking apartments, I don't drive a super car or what the fuck ever.. I drive a 2015 Chevy Aveo.. when its running , I prefer driving my 1993 chevy cavalier station wagon

The only vehicle I have that is worth any kind of serious coin is my Motorbike, and that is second hand, its 2 yrs old a 2016. I have good days and bad days, I deal with depression and suicidal thoughts all the time I am a normal human being no better than anyone, I am no fucking Diva , i may be a princessy girl but I am not afraid to get right up to my ass in oil and grease workin on a car, I get pissed off when I break a nail, I cry for stupid fucking reasons or even no reason!! I am emotional tho I try not to be, I just happen to have musical talent and it takes me around the world, and I just happen to do porn vids, so? anyone can do that? I may be a lot of things to people... but the one thing I am not is a Liar or a fake.. what you see is what you fucking get like it or dont, I dont give a fuck because I am not changing for anyone, I like being authentic, legit and true to myself.

Does this clarify shit for you? it better cuz I don't like fucking repeating myself, ... I will always answer questions openly and honestly always have always fucking will, I will always be friendly unless given a reason not to be. I am just me, no one special or of any importance, I am much much more than a whore than makes porn an I certainly am not an easy fuck...

have a great night/day all xoxo

Lesli