A Collection of Good DDlg Resources & info for the Beginner or curious ( Great for BDSM Daddys ,Caregivers,too)

I have almost 7 years Experience in the DDlg world & 3+ Decades in the BDSM World (in one form or another), I have never experienced a Vanilla relationship or sex (Vanilla=non kink/BDSM), I am no expert, I don't think anyone is as the learning never stops, I do however know what to look for and the keywords to use when I am hunting down information,  I always provide links to the resources, and give credit to the original authors, (it's the right thing to do) feel free to use anything in my Blog, just kindly drop a link to my blog and give me some credit for providing you with content and info, also include a link to your blog/post I'd very much like to read, if you leave a link in the comments to your blog on any site I will follow and post your blog link on the side bar so others can find you as well --->
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DDlg Briefly explained in the simplest terms :

What is DDlg?.. DDlg is short for Daddy Dom & little girl, MDlg is Mommy Domme & little girl, CG is Caregiver as some are neither Daddy or Mommy, and there are little's who are boys as well... a DDlg-MDlg-CGlg relationship is between 2 CONSENTING ADULTS never any minors/underage/non adult, littles, the minors will argue that they are littles, but the reality is NO they are NOT, they are simply role players, not actual littles, avoid them like the plague, you can get in huge legal trouble talking to them, remember 14 will get you 40 (years in prison) ... just avoid anyone under 18 and you will be fine. 

I, like the vast majority Do NOT support minors at all anywhere near this way of life or anywhere near any part of BDSM or the community.

DDlg is on the outer fringes of the BDSM Umbrella as it is on the border of taboo, &  makes many people in the BDSM community uncomfortable, and it can down right freak the Vanilla world out, the most common misguided and very wrong thoughts are.. pedophilia, incest, or Daddy issues... Non of which is remotely true... it is a different type of Dom- sub dynamics and relationships nothing more.

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DDlg Resources & info

I came across this WordPress blog some time ago and thought it to be cute and very informative & has some good recipes on it as well,  good information from a little's POV 

BDSM Playpen

This one states its the ultimate guide to DDlg Relationships, it is extremely informative, has videos and links galore, has quizzes and much more, it is written in easy to understand words and can take you down deep into the rabbit hole with the plethora of links and info.. it's very helpful ....

Ultimate DDlg guide...( great resource and info site)

This is a great site, the post on it is from a little who explains what it's like to be in a DDlg relationship, it's beautiful and will paint you an honest picture of what life can be like in this dynamic, keep in mind everyone's dynamics are different but we all share 1 common core, and that is we are DDlg-MDlg-CGlg ( or b)

what it's like to be in a DDlg Relationship

Okay, last link for this post, here is another splendid resource, explains DDlg Beautifully, also has links and a plethora of resources, to take you even deeper into the proverbial rabbit hole....  

What is a DDlg Relationship (resources & info)

I hope this has been of help to anyone reading this, if you have any questions or would like more information about BDSM or DDlg or any thing under the BDSM umbrella feel free to ask in the comment section, I try to keep this blog in very simple layman's terms easy to understand words as I am writing this blog with the Curious or Novice in mind, but the blog itself is for everyone (Adult) regardless of experience or knowledge. 

I am by no means an expert in anything, I am experienced in a great many things but that does NOT make me an expert at all, I am always learning something new, I am constantly researching and networking with others.

Have a great night/Day all xoxo

Lesli 

BDSM 101: Consensual Non-Consent (CNC)

Copied and reposted from this word press site--->  Consensual Non Consent - what is it?
I own nothing of this content ....

The two basic negotiation concepts used in the BDSM community are SSC (Safe, Sane and Consensual) and RACK (Risk Aware Consensual Kink). An extension of these concepts is consensual non-consent.

CONSENSUAL NON-CONSENSUALITY

A mutual agreement that within defined limits, or subject to a safe word or other restrictions, and to common sense, consent to activities is given without foreknowledge of the exact actions planned. Very common (and pretty much necessary!) for activities such as kidnap or rape play, where prior discussion would destroy much of the “atmosphere”—like spoiling a surprise party. Examples: an agreement that anything rated “2” or higher in a submissive survey is “fair game” for play, without additional discussion or negotiation; or negotiation of kidnap play in advance, but without disclosing when, where, or the details of the scene.

Fetlife: Glossary of Kink

The basis of consensual non-consent is: “I consent for You to do whatever You like to me without future negotiation”. There is just the first consent. Yes, I consent to whatever is going to happen, without needing to further negotiate what is going to happen. Obviously, strong trust is involved.

There are many reasons why consensual non-consent is a common way for BDSM partners to play. It is a strong reinforcement of the power exchange, and it supports mystery, spontaneity and excitement from the unknown. Many people argue that SSC (safe, sane and consensual) takes away the ultimate BDSM experiences in exchange for relatively safe exploration.

Of course, every kinkster needs to approach consensual non-consent with caution, particularly if you are new to BDSM or new to the partner you are playing with. You wouldn’t be the first person to get yourself involved in knife-play before realising that you are having your first panic attack, or discover that your Dom forgot to mention that He was into needles (and you forgot to mention that you are freaked out by piercing). Be careful. Psychological damage can ruin your fun, possibly forever.

There are others who don’t just “play” BDSM but live and breathe BDSM in everyday life. Often, consensual non-consent is established the moment the collar is locked. There is no need for further negotiation between Master and slave, simply because by that point both the Master and the slave have already established a strong understanding about each other’s body, mind and spirit. They know what works and what doesn’t, where the hard limits is, when things go wrong.

It’s not necessary that consensual non-consent is a goal in your BDSM journey. It’s not a progression or a rite of passage. How you play is up to you to choose and no style is “better”. It depends on what you want, who you are with and what you are comfortable with. SSC, RACK and CNC are all valid mottos to live and play by. The key over-riding principle is to stay safe and not let anyone push you into agreeing to something you don’t feel confident agreeing to.

IS CONSENSUAL NON-CONSENT SAFE?

Nothing is safe in BDSM, in fact, nothing is safe in life. Accidents happen every day with or without kink activities. But, we try to predict and minimise the risks.

Consensual Non-Consent may not be safe for people who are just starting to test out their kinks, because my experience is that a lot of BDSM activities are different than you imagine them to be. The whip in your imagination doesn’t taste the same as a real whip. Without real experiences, one can never be sure of what works and what doesn’t.

But, when there is trust and you and your partner have a good understanding of each other, consensual non-consent can allow you explore further than you might be able to otherwise. It can be a tool for going deeper and examining your limits.

How much is too much for my slave? Will putting him/her in a cage for 2 hours drive him mad? How about a day, a weekend or a week? What are the real limits? How far can this go?

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I have neglected this blog for awhile, my apologies, life gets in the way, also I run 2 Blogs on Wordpress, one is simply about my piddly @ss life from a little pov (except recently the adulty me has been posting) and the other is about Abuse of all types & human trafficking both subjects I am a survivor of, those 2 often get put into online magazines ( and I am so grateful for the exposure) also I have a 3rd that is a daily journal for my Mamma to keep tabs on me, it is also linked to my Tumblr which is a catch all hodge podge random mess of stuff I like or stuff I post. 

So for the next little bit I am going to start reposting resources  & blog links to great sources of info on various subjects within the BDSM world. 

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as always .. ask if you need to know something, correct me if I am wrong, tell me how I am going to hell etc in the comment box ( or you could just say hello) 

~Chaos Inc.~

Very Basic simplified layman's terms what BDSM stands for (BDSM 101 Basics for the misinformed)

Extremely simplified explanations in non technical terms that anyone can understand, ( especially the vanilla folks who are interested or curious) maybe it will help a novice with something they don't understand.. whatever, I am writing this for everyone cuz I can not believe the misconceptions...

BDSM is an umbrella for a great many kinks fetishes, Dynamics.. and it's not about sex,not all BDSM relationships lead to sex

It is not one big f*ckfest, it is nothing like that stupid 50 shades of rape movies, or magazines,I will put resource links throughout this post and at the end. in keeping with the KISS (Keep It Simple Stupid) guidelines, I am using, I am making use of Wiki..it isn't a definitive 100% reliable & accurate all the time, but it does provide links for resources 

The Definition of BDSM is clearly stated in that Picture above,
 Bondage is pretty straight forward, many Bondage folks go onto learn and practice Shibari & Kinbaku What is Shibari & Kinbaku & their differences, Bondage is not restricted to rope, silk strips are often used , chain, cuffs ( careful if using cop handcuffs they can really damage the wrist if used improperly) various restraints.

Discipline is more Self Discipline, mastering self control, self restraint, self conduct, mastering remaining calm in various situations positive or negative, controlling your own thoughts.. this takes years, it's a journey of self discovery and becoming the best person you can be, both Dom & sub do this, both are constantly learning, helping each other,the Dom may guide the sub in the right direction, may encourage the sub to not give up, and the sub gives their reassurances, and a good reason why the Dom is always striving to be the best they can be. Discipline is also learning to take direction, stick to schedules, Maintain rituals, completing tasks, Obedience - if your Dom calls you from work tells you what to wear, and you are to be at some restaurant or home or store, anywhere, at such & such time..doing so without question regardless of where you are and what you are doing ( this is an example) sounds simple enough, it is much harder than you think, you might be somewhere or doing something that will become awkward if you suddenly say you gotta go..thats just a small part of Discipline... it is NOT all about punishment and beating the h3ll out of a sub. yes it may contain elements of Sadomasochism, but not for all, just for who evers dynamics includes that.

Domination is pretty str8 forward I should think, it's being in control of the situation and the sub(s) their word is law, a Dom is short for a Dominant person ( male or female or somewhere gloriously in between) Dominant people have a Dominant personality,they are the natural leaders,the ones who people go to for advice or help or just want to be in their company,one of those people that are handed total control by their friends and family and end up directing the event without meaning to, and the Dom does it merely with their presence  one of those people who walk into a room and instantly grabs everyone's attention without saying a word, it is natural to them.
And submission is also pretty str8 forward, sub is short for submissive, which is the complete opposite of the Dom, they don't take control of anything, except for their own actions thought word and deed ( refer to Discipline).. they have responsibilities not control. a submissive is not a f*ck toy who has to obey your every desire, doesn't work like that... that is more in the realm of Master/slave situations..we will skip that for now and keep it simple. Also a Dominant never takes submission by force, if you force someone to submit.. you are raping and abusing them... submission is something the sub gives willingly.  for simplisticity, think of it as a Gift to the Dom to cherish and protect...the Sub can  take that back at anytime,( doing so may very well terminate the relationship) when it is given the significance of it is they are putting their lives as well as their Physical, Mental, Emotional & Spiritual health into the hands of someone else and trusting that person to protect them always, to keep them safe on every way,and trusting them guide them and help them grow in all things.. a Dom can't do jacksh!t to/with the submissive until the sub willingly gives the Dom their submission and control over them, after that the Dom can take control and stay within the realm of things that was mutually agreed on and consented to. The Dom can not just do as they please,unless that is your dynamics.

Sadism is the pleasure derived from inflicting pain on others...Dominants are usually Sadists to varying degrees, so are mildly sadistic, others can be extremely sadistic.

Sadomasochism Definition ,

Masochism is receiving pain from others and gaining pleasure from it. Submissives are usually Masochists to varying degrees, some are mildly Masochistic, others Can be extremely Masochistic.

the more you read and follow links to learn, the more you will understand our Dynamics when I begin talking about that ( and that will contain details of scenes, what jannie n I do and how and for who etc. what types of Doms are in our crew and what do they do etc.) As usual, leave some hate or love in the comment box, nice comments greatly appreciated as well, and any questions drop them there and I will answer, if I do not know I will find you someone that does
have fun exploring and experimenting xo
Lesli xoxo

As stated here are a few resource links where you can explore more in greater depth... I chose to keep it simple to be clearly understood.
BDSM Beginners Kit (1995) still valid
Things to try if you are new to BDSM
How to guide for beginners
BDSM Guide for new folks
Tips for Beginners ( lots of resource links)
** Please hit that follow button so I don't have to constantly send the links thru Messenger thanks**